Okay so yesterday I told you guys that I started a fast. when I think of my family, I will use that time to worship and spend time with god. That also includes silence and solitude. Most of the time we spend praying not ever taking time to listen to what god may want to reveal to us. How can we sit and pout and say “oh no. god never answers my prayers” when we have not taken time to hear the answer he wants to give. God always answers. Sometimes its not what we want to hear, but its an answer.
Each morning when we get to the church, we have some time to answer emails, skype with parents, get on facebook. But seeing as I am fasting my family, I do not have as much to do on the internet. So I set out to hang out with my heavenly daddy :] worship songs usually help me to get into a special place with god, so I went on a short little walk and listened to one song. I stopped the music at this point b/c it becomes a hindrance from HEARING god. So I sat down with my bible and prayed for only a few minutes. now god had the floor.
I have been questioning a few relationships in my life. How can I keep pouring out gods love to others if I am not getting my own cup filled. Some relationships, I have put everything I have into them and it seems to be a one way street. I have heard different advice from several people, but I am not one to rush into any decision just because someone says something that sounds good. I research it and make it my own. So as I prayed, I asked god to reveal to me what true love consists of and when does it begin to enable bad behavior.
He led me to 1 cor chapter 13; the infamous love chapter. As it begins, I substituted my name for the word love, so it reads, Ellie is patient. Ellie is kind. Ellie is not jealous and does not brag. She is not proud. Ellie is not rude, is not selfish, and does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but delights in truth. Ellie patiently accepts all things. She always trusts, hopes, and endures.
A few things stuck out to me regarding this when do I move on from this relationship thing. if we claim to love, we do not count up wrong doings. Each day is new and fresh. I then asked god, “okay I understand that we don’t count up wrongs done to us, but isn’t there a point in time when we need to dust off the sandles?” then the word endures caught my eye. We cant pick and choose what part of scripture we read. Endures means you keep going. I have been doing a study with the youth for the past couple months on love. What is love, who do we love, when and where do we love, why do we love, and how to love. God states that we love everyone all the time. There is a realization that sometimes people will not accept love, but we are called to do it anyways.
So now I know that these friends deserve my love all the time. But then, god, how do I keep from enabling them. Well the passage states that love, aka ellie, takes no pleasure in evil, but delights in truth. This means that even if a friend is doing something I do not agree with, I need to keep them accountable. I need to call that out each and every time, but in the end its only advice. I can never change a persons heart. But as they ignore my advice, i am supposed to show them the better way, the healthier choice. If we walk away when someone disagrees with us, why would they ever want to change. If they have the choice of getting messed up with their old friends or hanging with you, what happens when you turn your back. They have no safe haven to come to. We are to have outstretched arms ALWAYS, but we do not delight in evil. Never make excuses for their behavior, and never back down from stating that we do not agree.
I still have some questions on this matter, so over the next month, I look forward to what god will continue to reveal to me.
I went to the clinic today for my foot. Its been hurting for the past month after the little accident :] it was an interesting experience! I got to keep my xray as a souvenir.
Oh yeah and we were at church a total of 13.5 hours today!
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