getting home

at this moment, it is 4 am on a thursday night. all is quiet and i have a few moments to really let it soak in that i am back home in america.

saying good bye to my babies and the staff and my friends and family was one of the most difficult thing i have ever done. tears never came... i think because it was deeper than emotion for me. i felt as though i was leaving my life there. i am so happy to be home and be with my family, but im not gonna lie its hard. i miss waking up and walking to adziwa, where everything was laid back and chilled out. american lifestyle is very busy and scheduled. i guess i am afraid that i am going to lose that intense reliance on god.... that freaks me out. i woke up in the middle of the night just praying that god stay with me... i know its a silly prayer because god is with us always but i crave him in a way i never have before and my greatest fear is to regress.

i want to continue to run towards god, always having to rely on him to get through the day.keeping my simple lifestyle without getting back into the crazzy life here in the states will help i think.

thank you god for everything you have given to me, taken from me, or guided me through. you are an amazing god :]